"Nothing else to describe it really - panic, you panic. [You think], 'when am I going to see my children again? Where are they?'" he explains.

It wasn't until he got a phone call the next day that Bowey learned the truth: His wife had left him and left the country with their kids.

According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, about 350,000 "family abductions" like this occur each year. Experts say that one parent may take the children to punish the other, a kind of ultimate weapon in a nasty divorce. But at what cost is this punishment?

"I felt pretty sad leaving my dad," says Thomas, Bowey's son. "Some nights I cried because I missed him. I thought I was never going to see my dad again."

"If it turns to combat, then the children become the weapon in the war, and that creates an incredible amount of stress on children," says Winny Rush, an intervention specialist and child advocate attorney.

Family abductions are illegal, and criminal charges can be brought. When it happens, experts say, don't wait - call the police immediately.

"Many, many localities think that you have a waiting period. But there's no waiting period for runaways, stranger abductions [or] family abductions," explains David Thelen, CEO of The Committee for Missing Children.

It took Bowey months to get his children back and cost him thousands of dollars. Today, he and his ex-wife are rebuilding their trust, and Thomas is planning a trip to visit his mother.

"She's been nicer these few past days, so I think I'm going to be OK, and I'm going to come back OK," Thomas says.

By Kim Ogletree
CWK Network, Inc.

Currently, approximately 354,100 children are abducted by family members each year, according to the U.S. Department of Justice. And other statistics about children and divorce from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) suggest that no end to the problem is in sight:

• The number of divorces has tripled since 1960.
• The period of vulnerability for a family abduction extends up to four or five years after a separation or divorce. With more than a million children experiencing parental divorce each year, anywhere from 5 to 10 million children exist in the risk pool for family abduction.
• Ten million children live with a parent who is separated or divorced.
  

What actions constitute a family abduction? According to the NCMEC, the following events are considered to be family abductions:

• A child was taken in violation of a custody agreement or degree
• A parent failed to return a child at the end of a legal or agreed-upon visit, with the child being away at least overnight
• An attempt was made to conceal the taking or the whereabouts of a child, or to prevent contact with a child
• A child was transported out of state without permission
  

Consider these additional statistics about children who are abducted by a family member:

• The child has experienced serious mental harm in 16% of the cases (56,000).
• The child has experienced physical abuse or harm in 8% of the cases.
• The child is sexually abused in 1% of the cases.
• Mothers flee with children in 54% of the cases.
• Fathers flee with children in 46% of the cases.
  

What kind of person abducts a child? The Missing Children's Registry of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, has developed an overall profile detailing the types of parents who are likely to abduct:

• Either parent, mother or father, will abduct his or her own child.
• Mothers tend to abduct children after a court order is completed, while fathers do so before the court order.
• Mothers who abduct their children will keep the children for a longer period of time then fathers who abduct.
• The "average" age range for parents who abduct their child is 28 to 40 years of age.
• The fathers who abduct their children are likely to have employment, while the mothers who abduct are more likely to be unemployed.
• The majority of children who are abducted by their own parent but kept within the United States is between 3 and 7 years of age, but children who are taken out of the country tend to be 8 years of age or older.
• Both male and female children are abducted equally.
• The majority of children abducted by their own parent is done so from the home and not from areas such as a babysitters, daycare or schoolyard.
• The abductor, both mother and father, typically makes contact within 48 hours of abducting the child to inform the searching parent of the child's well-being.
• Various modes of transportation both within the United States and beyond are used to transport the child.
• Children who are abducted by their own parent are typically done so during weekend, summer or winter holidays.
• The abducting parent does not typically use force to obtain the child.
  

If your child is abducted by a family member, the U.S. Department of Justice suggests immediately following these steps in order to locate your child:

• Report the kidnapping to the local police or sheriff's department. Ask them to enter descriptive information about your child into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) computer, and make sure that law enforcement passes this information on to your state clearinghouse.
• If you have not already done so, obtain custody of your child. Once custody is obtained, it may be possible to secure a felony warrant for child kidnapping by working with your state attorney or district attorney. If a reason to believe that the subject has fled the state exists and the attorney agrees to extradite and prosecute, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) can become involved and a federal felony warrant can be issued for "Unlawful Flight to Avoid Prosecution (UFAP)."
• Ask the FBI agent, U.S. attorney or local law enforcement officer who is working the case to check with the Federal/State Parent Locator Service (FPLS). FPLS can access records from many federal agencies, including the Social Security Administration, the Department of Treasury and the Department of Defense.
• Contact the Motor Vehicle Registration Department for information on the car that the suspected abductor may be driving.
• Check with the post office, utility companies, banks, employers, insurance companies, subscription lists or other places where an address change may be requested by the suspected abductor.
• Check past telephone bills for out-of-town numbers that may give a possible destination.
• Check credit-card bills that may show out-of-town purchases.
• If the suspected abductor is employed in a profession that requires a license by the state or a union, check with the appropriate agency in other states or localities.
• If your child is of school age, check the previous school to determine if another school has made requests for school records. Ask the previous school to flag your child's record and notify you if a request for the record is made.
• Check with the Department of Vital Statistics in the county where your child was born to put a flag on the birth certificate in an effort to prevent your child's name from being changed. Also, request that you be notified if a copy of the birth certificate is requested by anyone.
• Contact parental kidnapping support groups to help you through the process of finding your child.
• Have fliers or posters made of your child.
• Search for your child on your own as well as working with law enforcement.
  

Most family abductions are perpetrated by the parent who does not have custody, often as an act of revenge against the parent who does have custody. The Utah Bureau of Criminal Identification says offers the following advice for preventing a parental abduction:

• Obtain legal custody of your child.
• Specify in the custody order the exact times and locations for visitation.
• Ask for special prevention provisions in the custody order.
  
• Consider counseling or mediation to work toward resolving problems with your ex-spouse.
  
• Always keep current information of your child on file.
• Notify schools, daycare centers and babysitters of custody orders.
  

Missing Children's Registry of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
Nation's Missing Children Organization, Inc.
U.S. Department of Justice
Utah Bureau of Criminal Identification
Committee for Missing Children, Inc.